Church Football

By Dot KelleyBy Dot Kelley

1.Quarterback sneak – church members quietly leaving during the invitation.

2. Draw Play – what many children do with the bulletin during worship.

3. Halftime – the period between Sunday School and worship when some people choose to leave.

4. Benchwarmer – those who do not sing, pray, work or apparently do anything but sit.

5. Backfield-in-motion – making a trip to the back (restroom or water fountain) during the service.

6. Staying in the pocket – what happens to a lot of money that should be given to the Lord’s work.

7. Two minute warning – the point at which you realize the sermon is almost over and begin to gather your children and belongings.

8. Instant replay – the preacher loses his notes and falls back on last week’s illustrations.

9. Sudden death – What happens to the attention span of the congregation if the preacher goes overtime.

10. Trap – you’re called on to pray and you are asleep.

11. End run – getting out of church quickly without speaking to any guest or fellow member.

12. Flex defense – the ability to allow absolutely nothing said during the sermon to affect your life.

13. Halfback option – the decision of 50 percent of the congregation not to return for the evening service or Bible study.

14. Blitz – the rush to the restaurants following the benediction. 

 
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