Death Notice

January 4, 2013 chris
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Mrs. Prayer Meeting died recently at the First Neglected Church on Worldly Avenue. Born many years ago in the midst of great revivals, she was a strong and healthy child, fed largely on testimonies and scriptural holiness. Soon it grew into worldwide prominence and she was one of the most influential members of the famous church family.

For the past several years, Sister Prayer Meeting has been in failing health, gradually wasting away until rendered helpless from stiffness of her knees, coldness of heart, inactivity and weakness of purpose and will power. Near the end she was but a shadow of her former happy self. Her last whispered words were inquires concerning the strange absence of her loved ones from her presence. Busy in the marks of trade and place of worldly amusement, her older brother, Brother Prayer Meeting, has been dead for many years.

Experts, including Dr. Works, Dr. Reform and Dr. Joiner, disagreed to the cause of her fatal illness. They administered large doses of organization socials, contests, plus other drives, but to no avail.

An autopsy showed that a deficiency of “spiritual food,” along with a lack of “fasting,” “faith,”  “heartfelt religion,” “shameless desertion” and non-support were contributing causes.

Only a few were present at her funeral, sobbing over memories of her past beauty and power.

Carefully selected pallbearers were urged to tenderly bear her remains away – but failed to appear.

There were no flowers. Her favorite hymns “Amazing Grace” and “Rock of Ages’ were not sung. Instead, “Beautiful Isle of Somewhere” was sung, but no one had any idea where this fancy isle might be.

The body rests in the beautiful cemetery of “Bygone Glories” awaiting the summons from above.

In honor of her going, the church door will be closed on Wednesday night, except on the third Wednesday of each month, when the Lady’s Pink Lemonade Society serves refreshments to members of the men’s softball team.

A Question – What area are we as a church dialing in? Remember, we are living in a world today with many changes taking place, but Malachi 3:6 clearly states: I am the Lord, I change not. Temptation may ring your doorbell, but it is your fault if you ask it to stay for dinner.