By Tabitha Bozeman
Recently, the reality of how much of our daily experiences reside in our own responses to the situations and people each day has been part of my classroom and family conversations. On days when we wake up in a good mood, hit all the green lights on our drives, and don’t have to worry about having basic needs, it is fairly easy to feel like we have good lives. But, on the days we wake up late, don’t feel our best, deal with traffic, or realize we have a need that can’t be easily fulfilled, it is harder to feel like life is good. I was having one of those less-than-perfect days when I read an article about the importance of “la brega” in Puerto Rico, which is the concept of making do with the tools, supplies, resources and situations that are available. I was struck by the connection to other concepts I’ve written about previously: “kintsugi” (the art of repairing what is broken and making it even more beautiful), “wabi-sabi” (finding beauty in the imperfect), and “kaizen” (continuous improvement) in Japanese; “sisu” (persevering through seemingly hopeless or crazy situations with dignity) in Finnish; “desenrascanço” (finding creative solutions to problems in Portuguese; and “kefi” (finding joy within yourself even when circumstances are hard) in Greek. So many cultures have words for these most human moments, and I started thinking about equivalents in our own culture, here in the foothills of the Appalachians, and I think “self-reliance” and “making-do” are two terms that celebrate both independence and social connection.
We all live in communities and have neighbors, and even though on the most basic level we are on our own for much of life’s journey, we are simultaneously all bound and twisted together in our daily lives, too. From smiling at a stranger, or letting someone merge ahead of you, interacting with coworkers or chatting with a salesperson, we can decide moment-by-moment if we are going to move through our days stressed out and miserable or if we are going to make-do where we are. Sometimes we just have to make the most of where we are and what we have, rather than waiting for a hypothetical future situation. As Jack London quipped, “Life is not always a matter of holding good cards, but sometimes, playing a poor hand well.” Playing well requires an ability to clearly evaluate where you are, where you’d like to be, and how you can craft that in the here and now with what you have.
This concept is not the same as toxic positivity. Instead, it is a very personal, quiet inner determination. The sheer number of phrases and words in so many languages just proves that this ability and determination to rely on ourselves to create our own experiences is a truly human endeavor, and one that has a long history in art and literature (as well as the self-help industry). Emily Dickinson wrote about this in her poem “A Columnar Self”: “On a Columnar Self—How ample to rely. . .Wedge cannot divide Conviction.” When we are determined and have the conviction of our ability to live a good life regardless of material possessions, location, weather, and so on, we can rely on ourselves to make-do, to see the beauty in the everyday, to find unexpected solutions. We allow ourselves to interact with others knowing that they are also trying to make-do and live good lives. Above all, we realize we can gift grace to ourselves and others because we are all on this life journey and doing our best where we are with what we have. Or, as Ralph Waldo Emerson realized, we no longer need to be worried about or judge what others are doing and thinking because “What I must do is all that concerns me, not what the people think.”
Another article popped up on my computer this morning about how more Americans are becoming “home bodies” and that this is contributing to social isolation even post-COVID. I am the first to say I love a good day at home, reading or painting, watching a movie with my family, or having family dinner. But, I also know I am one of those people the article was speaking of and I need to do more to actively enjoy the resources around me. This weekend, I think I’ll try to channel “la brega” and walk around our city, try a new restaurant, find a scenic area and take photos, or maybe even read a book at one of our local parks. After all, we have beauty all around us here, and so many options for enjoying it–and I am determined to do just that.
Tabitha Bozeman is an instructor at GSCC. Email at tabithabozeman@gmail.com.
