By Rosie Preston
It’s true; I forget a lot more nowadays than when I was younger. My grandchildren often ask me to do errands for them or remind me – of all things – to remind them of something they have told me. I’m almost positive that they’re holding an intervention meeting now to list all the “stuff” that I’m forgetting.
“Nana, how could you forget to mail those bills?”
“Nana, remind me of my dentist appointment tomorrow.”
“Nana, would you mind making a bank deposit for me? My payments will be late.”
How could I explain why I did not do any of the above? How could I explain the reason I did not mail the bills was because I lost them? As for reminding someone about appointments, I have to use three different reminders for my own planning! I think I’ve been dismissed as a patient from one particular doctor after I forgot an appointment three times.
Being a nana is not much different than being a mom. My children could win a trophy for all the things I forgot to do for them, so maybe my grandchildren should be invited to the meeting. One night right before a ballgame, a uniform didn’t fit, or a notebook was needed for school or I was volunteered for a field trip the day after my wisdom tooth was extracted!
Recently while sitting in a doctor’s office, I picked up one of those medical magazines and read an interesting article that cited new scientific evidence about memory loss. It was entitled, “Brainwaves, memory loss and wrinkles.” The author’s name was Dr. Ihaditoo. I was surprised to finally discover the answer for why we often forget things.
Putting the article’s evidence in layman’s terms is not easy, but here goes: “Every memory makes a wave that causes wrinkled on the brain. Of course, there is an overload that causes the waves and wrinkles to a new trial on the face and neck!
Neurotransmitters are getting interference from the skin that is being treated daily with moisturizers, wrinkle serum and beauty masks. The sunscreen used to fight those wrinkles on the face is causing the forgetfulness. Little does the average citizen know that memories are being erased as those wrinkles disappear.”
The saying “beauty is only skin deep” has reached a level that was unknown a few decades ago. Women are being convinced that happiness lies in smooth and line-free skin. This is a cover-up that began in Hollywood in the 1950s, and now no one can remember why the actors needed a coverup. It is a possibility that a future book will be entitled, “The Plastic People.”
Believe me, at the next encounter with the grandchildren, I came prepared and used the above article to explain why I’m so forgetful. I provided scientific evidence. After the meeting, I invited them to dine with me.
“Dear children and grandchildren, I admit to trying to hold on to younger-looking skin buying many products,” I said during the meal. “For many years I’ve wasted money by trying to keep up appearances, which has lowered the reason that I cannot remember where I placed my keys, glasses and cell phone and why I forget to read your messages. I’m giving you fair warning that whatever is happening to me will someday happen to you. My dear grandmother tried to warn me, saying, “Honey take care of yourself. You work too hard. Just enjoy each day; they get shorter as you get older.”
My new lifestyle involves blocking off a couple of hours each day to pamper myself, so if I don’t return your calls, don’t worry. I’ll be enjoying a massage, or soaking in the hot tub, or perhaps having coffee with a friend.
On second thought, if one of the little ones need me, text 511 to my cell messages. I’ll be there ASAP!
Keep Smiling, Rosie
