We’ve been going through Romans expositorily at my church recently, settling in Romans 8 for the last few weeks. I don’t know if you have read it lately, but there is a lot of suffering mentioned in there. Suffering. A word in itself that stirs up fear and agony. A word that most of us, if we are honest, try to pray our way out of, and steer very clear of. But, according to Romans, it is a space where God meets us, refines us, and draws us into deeper dependence on Him.
With that kind of list, you would think people might come running, lining up like it was midnight on Thanksgiving. But, our human nature (with the accent of the devil) tells us that if we suffer it means something is wrong with us or that God has abandoned us. Not to mention the obvious, that suffering is painful. In Romans 8, Paul reminds us that suffering is not a sign of failure– it’s part of the journey of faith. Creation groans, we groan, and even the Spirit groans on our behalf. Yet in all this, God is working, renewing, and drawing us closer to himself and to one another.
I was flipping through podcasts the other day, when I heard a snippet of a message by Jennie Allen in an episode called, “The Power of Need.” I stopped because I heard a familiar voice mention something about mixing sour cream and cream-of-chicken soup with almost anything to make a casserole. Super spiritual. I know. I’m a sucker for a good, Ritz-covered concoction, bubbling with melty cheese. Anyway, she goes on to talk about how there was a time that people made casseroles and just showed up at neighbors’ homes and actually knocked on their doors. She reflects on how modern life often isolates us, making it easy to live side-by-side without truly engaging in each other’s lives. I didn’t stick around to hear the whole message, because my mind took off and circled back to my pastor’s messages on suffering.
I know I am not the only one to notice the seemingly unending suffering all around. I see it in my family, my church, on social media, on the news, everywhere I turn. I know the relevance of suffering in our lives as Christians, and how it purposes to bring us closer to God, but I had never stopped to think about how it also connects us to each other. In spite of the old “misery loves company” adage, suffering presents needs that draw compassion, and offers opportunities for vulnerability. On her website, www.jennieallen.com, Jennie blogs, “vulnerability–especially around our needs– is essential for authentic connection.” Our need, created by our present suffering, is the bridge to connection. When we admit we need help, support, or understanding, we open the door for others to step in and care. And that simple action fosters intimacy and trust.
Have you noticed the rise in depression and anxiety in our world? Of course you have. Now, I am not a psychologist, but I think if I spent half an hour with Google, I could find piles of statistics to show the correlation between isolation and the rise in mental health disorders. One reason for this is because we have developed a culture that glorifies independence, and shames us into hiding our needs from each other. Thus the polished posts on social media and the plastered smiles at church on Sunday. But God designed us for interdependence. Communities thrive when people carry each other’s burdens (Galatians 6:2), because we were not meant to do life alone.
Circling back to the messages on suffering, and its divine role in our lives, it is the sacred ache that creates the need facilitating connection. The suffering bone’s connected to the need bone, if you will. Allen writes, “When we admit our need, we open the door to healing, community, and deeper intimacy with God.” Vulnerability isn’t weakness–it is the soil where love grows. And though suffering may feel like it’s unraveling us, Scripture reminds us that something deeper is happening. As Paul writes in The Message paraphrase of 2 Corinthians 4:16-18, “So, we’re not giving up. How could we! Even though on the outside it often looks like things are falling apart on us, on the inside, where God is making new life, not a day goes by without His unfolding grace. These hard times are small potatoes compared to the coming good times, the lavish celebration prepared for us.”
So, be encouraged, Fellow Sufferer. In our sacred ache, our Heavenly Father is near. In our need He draws us together. And in our suffering He is preparing a Glory that far outweighs it all. So, go bake a casserole (with extra cheese) and knock on somebody’s door. Because, when we show up at the door in our need, we’re not just offering help; we’re offering an invitation for mutual healing and a divine encounter.
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