By Sandra Bost
Bless your heart. Three little words that, depending on which side of the Mason-Dixon Line you are on, can lift you up or rip you to shreds. The Mobile Rundown in an article on MSN.com calls this phrase a “linguistic Swiss Army knife.” They go on to say that this phrase can “sooth, scold, and subtly slice all at once” when wielded by someone from The Bless-Your-Heartlands.
The first way we proper Southerners use this expression is the sweetest. It’s almost like a prayer. We say it often when we are moved with compassion at a person’s circumstance and want them to know that we see them and are sorry that they are hurting. I said it this week to a friend after she shared the difficulties of walking with a child through chronic illness. I meant it to be a blessing– an inward prayer asking Jesus to work in her situation to bring mercy and healing.
Last week, with a case of mistaken moisturizer that had me basting my face with a bottle of bodywash, my husband’s “bless your heart” was the velvet verdict. He cocked his head a little and said it through a half-smile– definitely letting me know, “That is completely ridiculous, but I love you so much.”
The dagger variation is the one with all the notoriety. It is often spoken in a condescending tone, sugary with a heavy dose of side-eye. It is almost always delivered passive-aggressively. In keeping with the spirit of hospitality, a true Southerner knows that the nicest way to say what needs to be said is to never really say it.
This past Sunday at church, though, I heard another version. We were singing “The Heart of Worship” by Matt Redman when the words unfolded in a way that gave me pause. Even though I have been singing this song for nearly two decades, I feel like I heard verse one for the first time this week: “When the music fades, all is stripped away, and I simply come, longing just to bring, something that’s of worth, that will bless Your heart.” Bless Your heart. Those three little words, right there in that song. Bless Your heart. To God?
In that moment– with those familiar lyrics suddenly fresh– I began to wonder what it really means to bless the heart of God. If I am longing to bring an offering of worth to Him, what do I bring? How do I bring it? Thankfully, the Bible is filled with beautiful and clear ways we can bless God’s heart, not just with our words, but with our lives. Undoubtedly, God is the ultimate source of blessing, but scripture shows that our actions can bring Him joy in a way that blesses Him right back.
In Psalm 69:30-31, David’s sincere heart of gratitude in song seemed to him a perfect way to please the Lord. Samuel surmised that “obedience to the voice of the Lord” was a greater delight to God than burnt offerings in I Samuel 15:22 (AMP). And Hebrews 13:16 in the Message assures us that “God takes particular pleasure in acts of worship– a different kind of ‘sacrifice’ – that take place in kitchen and workplace and on the streets” when we share with others.
The part that is truly humbling to me is the idea that we– flawed, ordinary humans– can actually bless the Almighty God. The fact that our worship, our obedience, our kindness in the kitchen or compassion on the street, can bring joy to the Creator of the universe is not just poetic, it’s personal. And even more amazing? When we set our hearts on blessing Him in these ways, He blesses our hearts with peace and purpose.
So, the next time we are tempted to use our sugar-coated sarcasm to bless someone’s heart, maybe we can let it be more than a Southern catchphrase. Let’s let it be a reminder to live in a way that truly blesses God’s heart. Whether it is through songs of praise from grateful hearts for His Mercy and Grace poured out on us, obedience to the only worthy King, generosity in our giving for the common good, or simply showing kindness in everyday moments, we have the opportunity to bring joy to the One who blesses our hearts beyond what we can think or imagine. And that is a blessing worth giving.
Go bless someone’s heart today, it blesses God’s, too!
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