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Arranging the Pieces… Feeling the fear of missing out

By Tabitha Bozeman

When I think of the story of my life, October is one of my favorite settings. It’s my favorite time of the year. The heat is finally abating, leaves are changing and there are more fun activities planned than I can possibly attend. I try to plan carefully and thoroughly, but sometimes even the most careful planning does not allow for participation.

This year, I particularly felt that insidious FOMO (fear of missing out) as I continuously saw announcements for events I’d love to participate in but just couldn’t fit into my schedule. Rather than letting it ruin my autumnal joy, though, I have decided to revel in the overabundance of cultural, social and artistic possibilities we have access to in Gadsden. This decision has been hard won for me, coming on the heels of the resolution I made earlier this year to be more social and participate in more local activities.

In fact, everyone’s calendars were so instantly full that our writers group decided to cancel our writing workshops during this busy seasons. Our daughters have field trips, there are school concerts to attend, work activities, Halloween and a month full of birthdays for our family. Despite our overflowing calendars, I have attended the local events I could make it to, and longingly eyed the ones I had to skip.

For anyone else like myself who may have had to miss out on a few things this year, here are a few of the possibilities to look forward to and plan for next year: Trick or Treat Village at the Falls, Sunset Sips, Artober, Candy with the Cardinals, Beehive, GSCC Cardinal Gala, Gadsden Museum of Art’s River Reels and Tales, Mushroom Faire at the Falls, Turtle Island Native American Association Powwow at the Falls, Rock of Horror Costume Party at the Amphitheatre, Downtown Gadsden’s Trick or Treat, the Family Success Center’s Trunk or Treat, plus all of the many trunk-or-treats leading up to Halloween at local churches.

There are several places to look for upcoming events, including local Facebook pages, the Greater Gadsden Area Tourism website, the Etowah Chamber website and the website for Noccalula Falls, among others. I am reminding myself that there is always next year.

Until then, though, I plan to keep trying to make it to as many interest-related events as I can because I tend to shut down when things get too busy — but creativity and connection cannot survive and grow in a vacuum. Part of trying to be my most authentic self definitely includes continuous learning and creating and connecting. When I get too busy, though, part of the conflict I feel is less FOMO and more wondering if I can be my authentic self, interested in all the things, even when I can’t participate in them? I think the answer is yes. Planning helps facilitate participation, but becoming too wrapped up in the planning leaves little room for the living. And the living is where the stories we write of our lives develop.

This reminds me of something Ursula K. LeGuin said: “The unread story is not a story; it is little black marks on wood pulp. The reader, reading it, makes it live: a live thing, a story.”

The fully planned schedule is just a page or screen with marks on it. The living of the schedule, the acceptance of the unplanned, the willingness to notice what we miss and what we’d like to participate in next time — that is where the stories are.

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