Assorted Beans on today’s menu

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By Vicki Scott

My husband Alan parted ways last Saturday. I was invited by a longtime friend and neighbor to her daughter’s bridal shower. Our oldest granddaughter, Sweet Ava Jaymes, was participating in yet another beauty pageant, and Alan joined our son Joseph for those festivities. Joseph asked if I would take his youngest daughter, Addison Victoria (a.k.a. Beans) with me and I agreed to do so.

Beans is a three-year-old whose mind and body keeps me on my toes, as I never know what she is going to do or say. She told her daddy she would be good for me, and for the most part, she was.

On the way to the mall to meet my daughter and her mother, Eva, Beans told me that the “polices” said that she was a bad girl. I asked her which “polices,” and she said that she did not know. I asked her how she knew that the “polices” said that about her. She replied that the cameras in her classroom were watched by the “polices,” and they said she was a bad girl. Beans then assured me that she would be a good/bad girl for me. She informed me that when she grows up, she wants to be a bad girl.

Where does she come up with these things? I told her if she was good, I would buy her a horse at the mall. Eva met us a few minutes after we arrived and proceeded to load gifts, makeup and herself into my vehicle.

We made it to the bridal shower address, but not many cars were there. Eva called one of the cousins of the bride to be and confirmed that we were at the right place. It was strange, because there was a crowd of people but not many cars. We still have no idea where these people parked. I am not a party person and would much rather stay home with close friends and family, but everyone was very welcoming. The bride to be and her brothers grew up with my children and are like family. The bride’s friends and family are big Auburn football fans with some who played or cheered for Auburn. Two of her sisters cheered for Auburn at one time. It was an honor to meet these precious and down to earth people.

I felt out of my element, and Eva was nervous about how I would act. She once had me take an enneagram test because she wanted to “understand” me. The results showed that I was an enneagram No. 4, which is self-reserved yet expressive with my behavior. In any case, I reserved my right to stay at home if I so chose without being psychoanalyzed by my daughter, and I told her as much. There might have been some instances that would cause Eva to try and figure me out, but she is an enneagram No. 1 and very bossy. With Beans in the picture, my focus was on her and I believe it kept me out of trouble.

Eva wanted to go to the flea market after the bridal shower, but I was tired of smiling and wanted to go home. Beans, however, wanted to go back to the mall and get a horse, so to the mall we went. When we arrived at the toy store, Beans found other things besides the horse that she wanted, as well as things for her sissy. Eva grabbed random toys show them to Beans until I informed her that she was being unruly. She replied that she was just ready to go (an enneagram No. 1 in action). We all finally agreed on a horse, even though Beans said that her mommy said she (Beans) should get two toys along with some ice cream.

We paid for the horse and headed toward Chick-Fil-A for some chicken nuggets and ice cream. I do not know why I asked Beans what she wanted, because when the cashier asked us if she could take our order, Beans spouted off what she wanted in clear three-year-old lingo.

Beans said her mama makes her eat her ice cream first, but Eva made her eat some chicken nuggets before the ice cream while I sat there trying to smile.

While walking in the mall after we ate, we saw our youth leader with his wife along with some youths. I shared with them where Alan happened to be. They had just seen The Jesus Revolution. Our exercise group plans to go see that movie later this week.

Eva still wanted to go to the flea market, but I told her it was getting dark, and I have cataracts. We parted ways, so it was Beans and me alone at last. As I was pulling out of the mall parking lot, Beans yelled at me and told me that I was mean. I asked her why she thought that, and she said that had I told her that I was taking to her cousin’s house. I explained that her cousins were coming to our house. “Oh,” she replied, and hugged her horse and fell asleep.

I wondered what Beans’ number enneagram was.

When we returned home, Alan and Joseph were still at the beauty pageant. It turned out that Ava Jaymes won third alternate out of 18 girls. What a blessed day!

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