Packages, I get packages


By Vicki Scott

It is beginning to look like a COVID Christmas.

Shopping has been minimal. If I did not make a gift, I ordered it online. I’ve become quite accustomed to the package delivery protocol of every place that delivers packages to me.

If he does not see me running toward him when he stops at our house to deliver our mail, our postman leaves a tag when a package comes in. If I get home in time but miss when the postman makes his stop at our house, I sometimes hop in my car and hunt him down to get my package for that day. If I miss him completely, I must wait until the next day and pick it up at the post office.

One day, the postman told me that I needed a bigger box where my packages would fit. That way, I would not have to chase him so much. The next time I saw him – and after I asked for my package – I told him that I was looking for a bigger mailbox. He laughed. I do not think he believed me.

The UPS guy comes inside our fence to deliver my packages at the door. Apparently, he walks through our gate and right past our dogs. I asked our dogs Reba and Sandy about it, but they acted as if they do not know what I am talking about and bark for their treat.

The postman puts our packages on top of our garbage can where our dogs cannot reach. We did get one package from UPS that the dogs needed to tear up. It from Amazon and had our address but someone else’s name. Amazon said to keep it or discard it. We’re giving it as a gag gift. You do not want to know what it was…eeewww!

The Fed Ex person is the one who makes me nervous. He left a food package at the front gate on the ground. Even if it is well-packaged, I’m funny about our food being on the ground. I guess all of my restaurant experience flows through me at home and work – food must never touch the floor. I get a notice both when a package will arrive and has arrived, and I hurry to get it into the house. Working two minutes down the road at George Wallace Senior Center is such a blessing that I can get it taken care of fast. My husband Alan is home every other Monday, and he can catch it then.

It is unbelievable that I know about all these deliveries. What else is changing due to COVID?  Last year at this time, I did not know that Fed Ex worked in this area. Now they deliver every week. I still have not seen the UPS guy, but I find the packages in a safe place with someone else’s name. The dogs are as surprised as I am.

Our postman, who apparently has given up on us getting a bigger mailbox, delivers a certain package at least once a month. When he least expects it, it will come, if it is God’s will. Until then, I will chase him down but keep socially distanced, of course.

Stay safe, y’all!

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