By Tabitha Bozeman
Henry David Thoreau said, “I am grateful for what I am and have. My thanksgiving is perpetual.” I love this quote and the way it mirrors the way I feel inside much of the time, especially this time of year.
But sometimes, not even relatable quotes like this can quite do the trick of generating holiday cheer. Thanksgiving is a holiday full of family, food, friends and football — not to mention Christmas shopping. It heralds the beginning of an incredibly busy holiday season — the trifecta of Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year — and for many, it marks the start of a lot of seasonal stress. Weather-wise, this is my favorite season, and I genuinely enjoy the holidays, but even with these inoculations, I am not immune to the stress of it all.
This week, our family returned from the beach, put up most of our Christmas decorations, cooked food to take to various family gatherings and Friendsgiving and began planning Christmas in earnest. For some reason, though, this year has been a little tougher for me when it comes to “getting into the holiday spirit.”
I decided to be proactive. I remind students to “start with the title,” so I did, too, looking up definitions for “thanksgiving” (“the expression of gratitude”), then “gratitude” (“the quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness”). What stands out to me about these definitions is how full of action they are.
When we talk about Thanksgiving, about being thankful, it is not usually very active — we might say aloud what we are grateful for, but we tend to focus on feeling thankful. These definitions, though, are full of actions such as “outward expression,” “showing appreciation” and “returning kindness.” One definition leads to others: “expression” is defined as “the process of making known one’s thoughts or feelings,” and “process” as “a series of actions or steps taken in order to achieve a particular end.”
I decided to move my attention away from wondering why I wasn’t feeling the way I’d prefer about the season, and to focus instead on the outward actions that express the thankfulness and gratitude I have: cooking with and for others; decorating our home; making sure the person who braved Walmart and brought my groceries knows how grateful I am (apologies to the gentleman she apparently fought to make sure I got my roll of ground beef!); intentionally reminding my family how much I love and appreciate them; letting my students know they are the best part of my job; remembering what 20 year old me hoped for and being thankful to now have much of it; paying attention to ornaments and heirloom decorations as I put them out and remembering the people behind them and taking time to sit down and read in my favorite spot. These are all some of the actions that outwardly remind me and those around me that I am grateful and thankful for this unexpected, daily changing, never-a-dull-moment life we each get to live.
When we are just not feeling it, actions usually help. Sometimes, though, it also helps to remember that even when we may feel alone during a busy time like this holiday season, we are not alone. Each of us is part of this great production of life.
Whitman said it best with “O Me! O Life!”
“Oh me! Oh life! Of the questions of these recurring/ Of the endless trains of the faithless, of cities fill’d with the foolish,/ Of myself forever reproaching myself, (for who more foolish than I, and who more faithless?)/ Of eyes that vainly crave the light, of the objects mean, of the struggle ever renew’d,/ Of the poor results of all, of the plodding and sordid crowds I see around me,/ Of the empty and useless years of the rest, with the rest me intertwined,/ The question, O me! So sad, recurring — what good amid these, O me, O life?/ Answer./ That you are here — that life exists and identity,/ That the powerful play goes on, and you may contribute a verse.”
Happy Thanksgiving!
Tabitha Bozeman teaches English at Gadsden State Community College, is the editor-in-chief of the Cardinal Arts Journal and is a published writer and poet. She is also the founder of Riverside Writers, a local workshopping group for writers. The opinions expressed are her own and do not represent any organization she is a part of. She may be reached at tabithabozeman@gmail.com.
