By Sandra Bost
I was given a journal in 2010. I really can’t remember the occasion. It was most likely a birthday gift. I fell in love with it the moment I saw it. Bound with rich, navy-blue linen, the white cover was adorned with a blue floral pattern reminiscent of flower toile, my favorite. The heavy pages with blue lines were imprinted with a lovely, transparent-blue, floral pattern. I couldn’t wait to fill it with stories.
There was only one problem: I was only a few pages into another journal that I had started two years earlier. It was a dilemma thanks to a resolution I’ve had on repeat with myself since the 1900s–literally. Each year, it morphs into some version of: “This year I’ll finish what I start–with the same energy I use to binge-watch entire seasons of my favorite show in one sitting.”
You see, consistency has proven to be one of those things – like winning the lottery – for me. It seems the only thing I am able to do consistently is be inconsistent. This trait becomes obvious when I’m prescribed a medication that must be taken 3 times a day for 7 days. I always knock it out of the park on day one, but by the 7th day, the pill bottle is still half full. Or is it half empty?
Anyway, I digress, which brings me back to the journal and a pivotal moment in July 2010. I went on a mission trip to Togo, West Africa. This opportunity was in fulfillment of a life-long dream to walk on African soil with the message of Jesus. It was a once in a lifetime trip, and I decided to take the blue journal to record the special journey. So, I did. I wrote (almost consistently) over the course of the 7-day journey–beginning July 22 and ending on July 28. The next entry would not be until May 31, 2011. I only wrote in it a few more times after that, until seven years later.
In an entry dated October 27, 2018, I wrote: “Maybe this is the time this journal will see its fulfillment!” It was not. Entries remained sparse over the next seven years, each one capturing a meaningful moment in pursuit of consistency, like this one dated July 9, 2025: “To be fair, I have journaled some in the sweet pink journal…but came back here for completion.”
A hop, skip, and a jump later, I finally landed on the last page of this now-tattered journal on September 23, 2025, and the emotional ride was real. I celebrated finishing it, grieved that it took 15 years, and reflected on the stories it held. All the while, thanking God for showing up in every entry–and every gap in between.
I found that–even in my scattered discipline and, at times, outright disobedience–He never failed to show up. His compassion didn’t shame me for the silence but gently reminded me of His presence. Hebrews 12:2 echoed in my heart, “fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith” (NASB). The Author. The Perfector. He is The One who knows me best and loves me most. And somehow, that Truth made me feel a little less disappointed in myself and a lot more determined to keep going.
In that same verse, the writer of Hebrews tells me to fix my eyes on Jesus. That is the key. It is the key to focus. It is the key to consistency. It is the key to a life well lived, and a journal well written.
So, as I begin another journal (the last one left unfinished), I’m skipping the usual resolution. This time, I’m fixing my eyes on Jesus. I’ll remember that every journey of growth starts with a single step–or a single word in this case–and every page begins with a blank space. Jesus, the author of my faith, has already written the beginning. He knows the story, the struggles, and the victories. He is also the perfecter, faithfully committed to finishing what He started in me.
It helps to remember that, even though it may have taken me 15 years to finish this one journal, I did complete it. This new journey will be a testament of consistency. Not perfection. Not speed. But the steady, faithful pursuit of growth, reflection, and alignment with the One who writes my story. Each entry will be a small act of faithfulness. A way to fix my eyes on Him. A way to trust that even when I am inconsistent, He remains constant.
I will work on less binging of the shows and more fixing of the eyes. Are you with me?
Connect with Bost on social media platforms by searching for “Sandra Mullins Bost.”
