By Tabitha Bozeman
“Before the moon I am, what a woman is, a woman of power, a woman’s power, deeper than the roots of trees, deeper than the roots of islands, older than the Making, older than the moon.”
—Ursula K. Le Guin
As we move into Women’s History Month and celebrate International Women’s Day tomorrow (and every year, on March 8), I have been thinking a lot about the women I have and have had the honor of knowing.
I could write innumerable columns about the women who have come in and out of my life and the lessons I have learned from knowing and watching and interacting with them. There have been many women in my life who have encouraged and supported me through different chapters, and I hope and try to be the kind of woman that others can count on for encouragement and support.
There have been more times than I could list when I’ve needed to lean on the women in my life for encouragement, instruction, motivation, support and practical help and guidance. I honestly don’t know what I’d have done without the friend who brought dinner, or the sister who helped caregive or the colleague who encouraged.
Of course, I want to share some of the women who I have admired, leaned on and am grateful to have had in my life, but I also got to thinking about all those little moments, comments, hugs, conversations and wondered: these are anecdotal and feel great to remember, but do women as a group really have an impact on the larger world? So, I decided to research it.
What I found are some interesting facts. For example, did you know that companies in the top 10 percent in earnings have more women in leadership positions than companies who underperformed? In these high-performing companies, having more women in leadership roles also results in more women gaining opportunities. Companies who have a strong succession plan also have more women than those who do not have a strong succession plan. These companies that are out-performing others financially? They lean on teams made of professionals from varied and diverse backgrounds and promote inclusive practices that support creative problem solving and growth. Women focus on positive work environments, according to studies, including making sure fellow employees are engaged at work.
As I read these studies, I thought about the women I know who personify the characteristics these studies and articles extol as the reasons women contribute so much value to the workplace, specifically, and to our world overall.
Women persevere and connect. My friend who works in the housekeeping field is one of the strongest people I know, balancing home and parenting and school and work — but still takes time to make connections with those around her, make them feel seen and heard, and is supportive and caring to employees and students alike. Or, the women who tirelessly prepare meals, clean up afterward, place orders, take inventory, stock the kitchen, create incredible dishes day in and day out and still take the time to smile and chat when crowds visit the cafeteria. Then, I thought about the women who work in the doctors’ office my children visit, who are highly trained medical professionals, but also take time to make parents and children feel at ease, listen to stories, smile and answer questions.
Women are strong and multifaceted. The woman I knew who worked 12-hour shifts in construction, was strong, capable and tough enough to build houses, lay concrete and drive massive tractors, and was also the person her colleagues went to for advice or a hug. She put her professional skills to work at home, too, building onto her home and teaching family and friends many life skills.
The women I call family and framily are incredible, too. They juggle homes, families, work, school, children’s activities, health challenges, community work and hobbies. Some of them are full-time homemakers and CEOs of their families. Some of them have children, and others have children they consider their own. Some are married, and some are not. Some are self-educated, and some have advanced degrees. Some can grow anything, and some can paint anything. Each are stronger than they know and have helped me discover my own strength over and over again. These women are all highly skilled, and they take care of themselves, their families and even complete strangers all day, every day — and each have made a positive impact in my life, even if they haven’t known it.
What many of the women who have made the biggest impact on my life have had in common is a desire to live as their most authentic, truest selves and being intentional, no matter what that looks like. Whether that meant playing an autoharp and singing on the porch while we visited or sitting patiently in a huge van and offering life advice in a parking lot or taking time out between meetings to answer questions about school or sitting with me after school while I waited to be picked up from 2nd grade. It might look like cooking a meal, or practical medical advice and a carefully curated first aid kit. It might look like not being afraid to offer hard truths over text and reminders of goals I’ve set. It might look like a day of art at the river, or carefully and painstakingly crafting a bullet journal. It’s meeting for Mexican on a Saturday afternoon or standing in the driveway with a baby on a hip while we catch up.
It is tears and laughter, hugs and warnings. It is gatherings and solitude, coffee and crochet. It is, at its most basic, love and support.
As Maya Angelou wrote: “A woman in harmony with her spirit is like a river flowing. She goes where she will without pretense and arrives at her destination prepared to be herself and only herself.”
Studies show that women who spend time with other women are healthier and live longer. In fact, men who spend time with women are healthier and live longer. Corporations, businesses, classrooms, living rooms, courtrooms — all of these spaces are elevated and strengthened when women are included, encouraged, invited, supported and welcomed. And, as I think about the women in my life, I know why. We are strong, we are resilient, we are creative, we are smart, we are supportive, we are fearless, we are gentle, and we are here.
Happy International Women’s Day, and Happy Women’s History Month — let the women in your life know how appreciated, respected, admired and loved they are this weekend!
A few of my favorite quotes from some incredible women:
“I am no longer accepting the things I cannot change. I am changing the things I cannot accept.” – Angela Davis
“A strong woman understands that gifts such as logic, decisiveness, and strength are just as feminine as intuition and emotional connection. She values and uses all of her gifts.” – Nancy Rathburn
“Women are the backbone of any society.” – Diane Mariechild
“I am not afraid of storms, for I am learning how to sail my ship.” ― Louisa May Alcott
“The success of every woman should be the inspiration to another. We should raise each other up. Make sure you’re very courageous: be strong, be extremely kind, and above all be humble.” – Serena Williams
“Some things are best learned in calm, others in storm.” ― Willa Cather
“I have chosen to no longer be apologetic for my femaleness and my femininity. And I want to be respected in all of my femaleness because I deserve to be.”
—Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
“Nothing I accept about myself can be used against me to diminish me.”
—Audre Lorde
“Some women get erased a little at a time, some all at once. Some reappear. Every woman who appears wrestles with the forces that would have her disappear. She struggles with the forces that would tell her story for her, or write her out of the story, the genealogy, the rights of man, the rule of law. The ability to tell your own story, in words or images, is already a victory, already a revolt.”
—Rebecca Solnit
